Finally, but is it good or bad?

Well I might get a break, I am hoping for a good month off. As soon as tomorrow I could be going back to BC and home. It will be oh I don't know how long since I had time off, I'm through counting days at this point. Many readers might say "Wah!, he wants time off". Big whoop right? Well my job isn't that simple to define. We go until the work is done, I don't get weekends off or do any kind of 9-5 day. There are no paid holidays, I am self employed. There is no employment insurance or "pogey" because I can't collect it. There is no pension plan, unless I create my own (more on that later), not really any sick days either. I will have to look back in my journal, but I can't say that I have had more than 3-4 weeks this year where I can say I did not work, and of those days, a few were rain-outs and I had to stick around because we worked the next day. I don't live where I work, that would be impossible, I work in so many different areas of Alberta and British Columbia. When I used to work for another oil company I had almost 12 years where all the jobs were within 3hrs of my door (If a hypothetical speed of 90mph was maintained).  I haven't gone anywhere or taken a vacation since 2002. Its been a tough slog, this last year especially. It has been worth it though...

I'm excited again. With the recent dip in silver prices I bought some more. (Remember that pension plan I don't get?) At this point something is better than nothing. I don't really care what the price does, I am hoping that it accrues more value, and if what I am reading and seeing about the world financial system is any indication, my bet is not in vain. I will always have precious metals. In the above photo from left to right is: 1oz Silver Cougar, 1oz Silver Maple, 1oz Silver Grizzly and making it's debut appearance is a special edition "five nines" 1oz Gold Mountie, the first gold ounce I have ever purchased.

From what I hear one of the worst things I could do is become a "Silver Bug" and love the coins I have so much that I don't sell when the time is right. I might be one now....pictured above is a 1 oz Andean Cat in .99999 silver. It is just so beautiful don't you think? I bought 10, and I bought 10 Blue Throated Macaws produced by the same mint. They won't be here for two months...I can't wait.

OMFG!

This post isn't about any one contractor, I think its more about the troubles that contractors are having in general, finding competent workers to fill the seats.

I just finished a small service rig prep today. That's where we go in after the drilling rig has moved off and fix the messes they left behind, getting the site ready for the next service to get in and do their work. (In this case it could be a service rig or maybe the frac crew). We clean up the mud, collapse the mouse and rat holes ect... Not hard work, most equipment operators look forward to it as a easy day with little or no pressure.

The way things have been going with the busy and hectic oilfield these days, the contractor owners are pulling their hair out trying to find operators to run the equipment. They don't just work for me, they work for a dozen me's doing the same thing all over the place. From one day to the next I sometimes don't know who that operator is or where he came from, I have to trust that the person knows what they are doing, the contractor has to trust that what that person wrote on their resume was the truth.

Well I got a good one yesterday, one that is worth my time mentioning here anyway. I got to the site and watched for awhile. The guy never got out of first gear, going forward or back. It was odd, most times when I see this the operator is to put it bluntly, "Fucking the dog" (lazy), has something wrong with his machine, or the owner is greedy and has told him to work that way ie: the longer it takes the more he can charge. (I worked for someone like that once)

I told the foreman I was tired of watching this gongshow, get it done before noon and get off the site. The foreman came back once he had talked to the man...he found out the reason he never went out of first gear was because he didn't know how to put it into any OTHER GEAR! WTF! I couldn't believe what I had just heard and asked him to repeat it. I then found out that in addition to not knowing how to operate the machine that the guy was picked up off the Greyhound bus that morning. Now I know the man was put through a proper company orientation, its just the way this company operates. At what point does contractors' responsibility end and the workers responsibility to tell the truth, provide an accurate resume, and ensure that they themselves have taken the steps to ensure they are competent, begin?

You know there is an old joke that I usually attribute to my hometown: "Whats the best thing to come from.... Answer: An empty bus.

This is getting dangerous. 

What is...

a "Catskinner"? I noticed some people have searched for the word when looking at the youtube channel I have. The feedjit gadget at the bottom of this blog lets me see where visitors come from and what terms they used to get here. It is a word that some might not know or understand. I always had only a rough understanding myself so I googled and found this at a website called Kids-n-Cowboys:

The life of a “teamster”, be they a “bull whacker” or “mule skinner”, was no snap, and they usually occupied the lowest rung on the social ladder. The breed of plains men drawn to this profession were never in the mainstream of frontier life; as a group they were probably the least literate of frontiersmen. Their sweat-soaked, vermin infested hair and clothing, and vile language helped earn them this low position. They were usually red-shirted, brigands, jailbirds and desperados that commonly carried a “bowie knife”, revolver and a “bull whip”. If there was one thing in common between “bull whackers” and “mule skinners” it’s the bullwhip. It was his badge of recognition. The lash might be as short as ten or as long as twenty feet of heavy braided rawhide with a “popper” on the end to make it crack. There are many legends of drivers that could “flick” a fly off the ear of an animal without touching it. Merely cracked overhead, a bullwhip could inspire the dumbest ox or most obstinate mule to greater effort. For any frontiersman that dared to challenged a teamster, the bullwhip could be a more feared weapon than his revolver or knife.~Kids-n-Cowboys

At the turn of the last century, machinery began to replace draft animals used to tug, tow or haul heavy loads, the muleskinner and his unique profession became a thing of the past. One of those machines used to replace the mule or an ox was made by the Holt company, because of its linked track design it was known as a caterpillar as Mark Twain was once thought to have exclaimed that the machine resembled one. In 1925 Holt merged with the Best (another tracked equipment manufacturer), and the result was a company called Caterpillar. The machine and designs were so good that almost any machine that used a linked track was referred to as a "Cat". I think that you can now see where this is going...somebody that operates a piece of heavy equipment, in my line of work anyway, is called a "Catskinner". Despite the passage above that refers to a Mulskinner as occupying the "lowest rung" of society, there is no term I am more proud to called than a Catskinner. I just wish we still used the bullwhip ;-)

It started somewhere... a day in the life back in 2008

I became interested in writing, not very well admittedly, a few years ago. I wanted to tell some of my experiences, some of my opinions and to put it bluntly just have a space to vent. At first I was writing these things on facebook as part of the "notes" feature. Then in 2009 I discovered the google blogs and the rest as they say is history and can be found in the archive on the sidebar :-)

Here is an early attempt that I had printed from facebook before I deleted it. I found it while unpacking some boxes.

The story is real but the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

It's early morning and I am rolling out of bed before I even remember where I am or what I am supposed to do. Turns out its another motel room in Central Alberta. Shower time, get dressed, pack my bags, push the command start to warm up the truck, leave the room key on the T.V. and I'm out the door. But before I go, where is my pen and paper? This is what I write:

To the occupants of room #17:
Thanks for the wake up at 1:30am, thanks for the car horn at 2:30am, and thanks for not shutting your fucking mouths until 3:45am.
You pot smoking fuckwads, you are lucky I didn't call the cops, some of us have to work for a living!
To the female in the room: You are a slut and should be ashamed of yourself. I look forward to seeing you on the web at wvw.crackwhore.com.

Then its out the door, slip the note under the offending parties' wiper blade and I am gone. I guess you could say I am pissed, who wouldn't be? And people wonder why some go "postal".

I have a new job to go to but first I need to swing by the current one to make sure the crew gets started on time and to satisfy myself that they will be done by tonight like they said they would. The crew shows up minus one member after he rolled his semi last night while working for another client. He can't come until its fixed. Just great, where am I going to find someone that wants to work for only one day in -45c temperatures? I find one and when he shows up I safety orientate him and I finally get back on the road.

Its not looking good: I have 600km to go and its starting to white-out with blowing snow. I try to drive safe, but my stomach starts to turn at the thought of an icy Deerfoot during the noon rush in Calgary. And that's exactly what's going to happen if I don't start pokin' on er'.

Get through Calgary OK, but some idiot wants to use me as his personal radar detector and won't pass even though it looks like he will tag my bumper at any moment. I want to spike my brakes to teach him a lesson, but then remind the kid in me that I am not 20 anymore. Great...now I have to relieve myself, the steady drive while nursing 2 cups of coffee and a big water bottle have taken their toll. Now if I could just find the right place...there is a trick to peeing on the side of the road, I usually get off the highway a bit, down a country road, turn around then its out the door to do the deed. I f somebody happens to drive by I try to make it look like I am checking the tires or taking a stretch, but they know that I know that they know, so who cares? Thank god I am not female, I don't know how they can do it.

I finally get to the site, the office has already called and wants to know when it will be ready...I give the standard catskinner answer as diplomatically as I can: It will be done when its done, but agree to speed things up if I can. The crew is all here, but they have started without me, not good, and as I later find out, this will bite me in the ass over a trespass that nobody caught until too late. For now I gather everybody together and do an abbreviated tailgate meeting so that everyone knows that under no circumstances are they to A: run over each other or B: run over the wellhead. Why do I do this? Well it goes like this: At some future date I am on the witness stand and a smartass lawyer will ask me: "Do you mean to say that you did not specifically tell my client that he was not supposed to run over the well-site facilities? Did you happen to notice that my client is a 50 year old alcoholic with the maturity of a 10 year old? Your company has a policy against drinking in the workplace does it not?"

With the semantics out of the way I need to review the file that was bussed to me the day before and make sure I cross off all the "to do's". The phone rings, its the trucking company that will be moving the drilling rig. The dispatcher wants to know if they can drop a few loads off since my office has told him that should be OK. He doesn't get to hear what I really want to say, but I do tell him that unless he is moving this rig by helicopter there will be no loads dropped off because the road isn't even built. This is turning out to be a fine day!

Phone rings again, its the Vice President for the oil company. After a site visit the previous day he noticed that the road may be in the wrong spot. He asks me to check my survey plan. Oh my god! What looked like a botched line on a  bad fax is actually the real boundary. I am informed that we have trespassed 7m onto a section of land that is (was) protected. The natives have to be informed and an environmental group owns the land. The whole project is very sensitive. I like to think that I can bullshit most anyone, but believe me this one is hard to explain away and nobody is impressed. It is at this time that invoke rule #1 "Never pass the buck". And I don't.
The day is almost over before I realize I haven't booked a motel room.Does the fun ever start? Half an hour later and about a dozen calls to directory assistance because I don't have  a phone book, I find a room and head into town dazed by the days events. Thats when a dozen deer run across the road in front of me, I slam on the brakes and manage not to hit any of them. As the adrenaline drains away and my heart begins beating normally again I start a new letter in my mind. This one will be to my MLA asking that the laws be changed to make it legal to shoot deer from the side of the road and from a moving vehicle if need be.

Check in at the new motel...I hope its quieter than the last one.

My south is not yours...

So I am sitting in the parking lot of the laundry place in Edson Alberta waiting for three loads to dry. When they are dry I plan to drive back down to Lethbridge, its not a vacation, it's not for fun or just because I want to drive. Its because logic, logical thinking and common sense do not apply to my work most of the time. I am going to charge my dayrate, my phone rate, my sub-rate and a buck ten a kilometer to go down south, sit onsite for a grand total of 3 hours, to see a 40ft piece of pipe set in the ground. When that is done I plan to turn around and charge a buck ten all the way back. Logical huh? You have to understand that a drilling rig will be at that site in a week and granted they do need that "pipe" set in the ground, that's not the part with no common sense...no, the part that baffles me is that the rig will have a company man on location...so he can't go down a day early set the thing and then stay to drill the well?

1500km round trip when there was a chance I could have had a weekend off for the first time since June. Anyone want to take bets on when I start telling some people to go pound sand up their a**es?

PG&ME

PG came down from up north stayed for a week, I enjoyed the company so much, we stayed in the van down by the river...I left early every morning went to work then came back around 10am, then we would go for breakfast, go back to work or just bum around town. We travelled over to Jasper one rainy day and had a great time. I'm glad PG was here. I needed the break and I needed her. It meant the world to me. The best birthday present I have had in a long time, well probably the best ever :-)

I don't want to say it...I really don't, but I am getting burnt out again. That's a hard thing to admit. This is the busiest I have ever been in my life...I want normal, I want PG. Too much work and this life isn't so much fun. But you know another thought keeps entering my mind: "Everything in life happens for a reason" I truly believe that, I may not know at the time what's good for me, I may think the worst is still to come, but the clouds soon part, the sun shines, living is good and it all turns out alright....and for that I must thank "The *uc*head". Yeah its convoluted and warped, only a select few will know who I refer to, most will say huh?!? But all the same, if it wasn't for "The F**khead, I would not be where I am now, maybe I'll write about him someday...Cheers everybody, you too FH...

I said I wouldn't do it....

...But I haven't done my invoicing for 2 months. I MUST change my ways, this is getting out of hand... do it this afternoon...just as soon as I get this post done...

I did my check up the other week, this is almost the first anniversary of "When the bad things happened". I finally got the specialist diabetic consultation (ya since last summer I am now a Type 2 Diabetic). It was an interesting gang up approach led by two doctors and nurse, I have a lot of things to complete before I see them again in the fall. They changed my meds around, that sucked because I had just renewed the old ones.

 I am very optimistic about it all, a friend at work convinced me to enter a weight loss program that he has been attending. One week in and I can see the beneficial effects already. It is so hard to help yourself when there is little direction or structure. I am finding that I am one that needs that structure and discipline. Just try to go grocery shopping when you are scared shitless of the sugar content of anything, yet have no idea how much you can have. I got a new meter that I can plug into the computer and track my levels, I guess if technology is involved I like it, the doctors were impressed with my report ( but not the results really...), so I guess that's a good thing.

Work has been alright, we actually had a solid week of dry weather and that is helping to get a lot of loose ends tied up. One note though for the picture: We spent a week getting this site ready...now there is a chance it won't be drilled, oh to be able to spend money like that

Try, try again...

Rained nearly everyday in June, yesterday was the first day in a long time that we didn't get at least some precipitation at night, in the morning or the whole day long. Drier days could not have come at a better time. The oil company I am working for brought in a second drilling rig, both rigs have been moving to their new locations the past 3 days.

Little bit more stress and things seem to go wrong in a hurry. I got a call from an irate manager of mine that I didn't get some resident water wells tested prior to spud, lot of late night running around, phone calls to probable interested parties that were more than likely partying on a stat holiday....hey who wouldn't be? I mean who is dumb enough to work and never care what day of the week they work or what holiday it might be? I guess that's me. Anyway things were figured out and it turned out that we were within the regulations so no harm no foul.

I can't believe how quickly the days are accumulating, its so busy, I am behind in my filing, my paperwork and my life or what little there is of that. I am a month behind in invoicing myself out again...seems like I get a little bit of money in the bank, the worries on that side are over and I get slack. Going to have to work on that, I need a better system for life in general, need some organization.

In the picture this time is Precision Drilling rig 509, it`s a fair size piece of iron, if I am not mistaken it is an old Brelco rig The 500`s were Brelco, the 600`s were Kenting. Both companies acquired when Precision started its run at being the only source for drilling hardware in Western Canada. So glad the Alberta government bailed them out a few years ago...(not)

Over-extension-tended-tedium...

First posting for June 2011, and its a crazy start stop spring so far. Been getting a fair amount of rain but still sneaking in the day after to get the work done and dry things up. The stats aren't too good so far: Three different jobs, all cleanups, started and not completed. We can't get the final trim completed when its wet, need dry weather just like a farmer to get things done. I don't like the feeling, the spaz in me just wants things done right the first time.

A new character has been added to the catskinner cast. I call this one PG. I am enjoying the company and conversation. Lately we have discussed "Neighbour Hussy" who plays a minor role in life at this moment...NH dresses up in camouflage and hunts bear after work. NH knocked on my camper door the other night and asked if I would be so kind as to not call the cops when she goes to assassinate the bird that has pecking on her camper night and day for no apparent reason. I haven't heard the shot yet...but any day now.

Other than life being a total monotonous grind, working away from home, living in my van down by the river, wondering when it will finally rain enough to send me home for a few days...everything is good and I like that.

Indecisive spring...

What a spring its been. All of the sudden summer seems to be here...there really was no spring, just blip-blam: Here is summer and some warm temps to make you happy for awhile.

I just got back from the Edson projects. I'm not going to post the video here but check out the YouTube channel homepage for a couple of cool clips of what it takes to move a drilling rig during the spring thaw...it was interesting times.

My job is complicated sometimes, I have two to an infinite number of bosses. Last week my "employer" called to offer another job in what could be called south-central Alberta. I don't know who the client is, but it sounded good. Any other time I would jump...this time I can't. The current client offers exclusivity and a large program that has kept me as busy as I want to be. It has been probably a year and a half in the same area with at least another year to go and who knows how much after that...for a guy that has been jumping all over the province since 2006 this deal in Edson is "almost" as good as it gets. But still I am glad to have Colin and his team behind me. I appreciate that a lot. One reason I say "almost" is the life I have to interrupt to go to work...I have a new reason I want to be in FSJ. Its good.

I know some friends might want to know what I think of the recent silver pullback seeing as how I am buying into that market...well here are my thoughts: NOTHING has changed except for my ability to buy more and more at a lower price. Anybody contemplating the market should have a strategy going in with clear direction. Mine is simple: I am not playing a paper game or trying to time the market, I am in it for the long haul (5-10 years). I am going to accumulate and keep stacking. The banks can play games and rig the commodities to suit their short term needs, but the fundamental fault of a fiat currency that is no more than an out of control printing press, backed by nothing but good wishes and flawed sentiment, will lead to fundamental change. I believe in that. The US dollar is sunk, there is no way to avoid that fact. Its only a matter of time before the life support system is removed and everyone is in for a world of hurt. I don't care how low it goes, just means I BUY more.

Are we there yet?

Just about done for break-up. What does that mean? (some might not know, I am getting a few readers from other parts of the world) Well break-up happens in the spring after a long frozen winter. The ground is thawing out, its wet and muddy, the oil industry has some very heavy loads to move from site to site. The thing is that if we are not lucky enough to move those heavy loads before the road-ban weight rules come into effect, right around the 1st of April, then the drilling stops and everyone goes home for a few weeks (sometimes a couple of months, until the country dries out and and the road-bans come off). Roads get destroyed by heavy loads during freeze thaw cycles...just look at the spring pothole crop in any northern city, or the twin ruts in the slow lane of Hwy #2 between Edmonton and Calgary.

I am due for a break and I am looking forward to it. Same old story: I have had 5 days off since Christmas. It has been an interesting time. I am getting a ton of debt off my shoulders and I am still buying physical silver. This is good and I am happy. I have one phone call to make and I am so looking forward to it. American Express is going to get my version of a F**K YOU, take your card and shove it, I AM CANCELLING! They are paid off as of a week ago. I also paid off a Credit Union Mastercard, but they won't get a nasty call, they have always been good to me. They were the first card I ever got and it helped build my credit rating when I was starting out. I am cancelling that one too though. Don't need it. A word to the wise from someone who was stupid: Stay away from money you don't own, being in perpetual debt is not fun, it limits options you have for  personal freedom and the choices you can make.

So I am hoping to be done soon, my oldest best friend is losing his mom to cancer and I want to see him. maybe if things work out I can drive him back home

It comes and goes...

I wonder if I mean winter? That would be the simple explanation right?

Its April the 3rd 2011, I am back at the motel tonight after running around most of the day, chasing down contractors, humming along to a schedule I had a hand in writing but seems illegible, glad I can do it blindfolded most of the time. I am starting to miss the good old days... when spring meant a break. This winter has been long and with no end, I feel like I have been head down tail up for too long. But that is also good in a way...keeps me from thinking, lets me concentrate fully on the meaningless-ness of the daily work slog. The wait don't stop and actually think, don't let my focus light on real life for even a minute.

I did that today...for one brief moment. I didn't like it. Why should it affect me now? That's all water under the bridge, or so I thought, why should it matter.

Well the jobs have been going good enough, we are just about finished one location, but just starting on another goddamn water pit. During this upcoming 2 weeks there will be a total of 2 pits to deploy liner in. The supplier called and I should be taking delivery of the liner rolls in the next few days. I am hoping they send it on a truck with a good driver, the last couple really made me appreciate a real, honest to god, Canadian off-road, oilfield truck driver. I don't know when this stint will end for sure...I really want to help an old friend on the 19th if I can, but with the way this spring is going I might have to head down to Lethbridge and get that well from earlier this winter cleaned up before the farmer starts seeding. The snow is going fast and the frost is coming out and making things muddy like a mofo.

Hard Asset in Hand...

and what you see in my dirty hand is a 1oz, "4 nines" pure, Canadian Silver Maple bullion coin.

Well they came in finally after a 2 week wait. I bought from a great dealer called Gatewest Coin located in Winnipeg. If I were to eliminate the dealer mark-up and just told you the spot price for silver, I would say that this one coin alone has accrued nearly $2.50 since purchase.  It is very exciting for me. I feel like I am finally doing something for my future. If you were to read back in the blog you might see some vague hints at some terrible life decisions. I have some catching up to do, the next couple of years is very critical.

I am not going to harp on an on or try to prosthletize, but I encourage everyone to look around the world we live in and be cognizant of the financial danger that looms in the very near future. Look at the state of the world economy, get educated. Do you understand what "Quantitative Easing" refers too? It is basically the USA printing money out of thin air, backed by nothing and pumping it into the system to pay for their bills. It is phony and economic suicide.

 Did you know that during the Great Depression, President Roosevelt made it illegal for citizens to hold gold? He bought it all for $20 oz and later sold it for $34 to fund the government. Don't think it will happen again? Right now if you look on the Gatewest website you will find that they are required to report the social security number of any American that buys more than $2000 in precious metals to the Department Of Homeland Security...legislation is just one too many crisis' away.

 Debt and deficit is the killer of empires, since my last post on the subject US debt has risen to 16 TRILLION dollars. The deficit (Interest servicing costs of the debt) will be somewhere in the neighbourhood of 3- 4 trillion dollars this year. Do you think that Japan, who is one of the largest buyers of US debt ( Treasury Bills and Federal Reserve Notes), will be in the mood to fork over that money now when they have massive rebuilding to do in the wake of the latest earthquake and tsunami? The European Union is dealing with default and bail-outs for Iceland, Ireland, Portugal, Greece and Spain... The Middle East now has multiple hotspots of strife and revolution, what do you think that will do to the price of oil? How will any economic recovery happen when oil is $150-200 a barrel? Remember the last time it hit $140...yeah, that was 2007-2008, the economy shut down. Foodstuffs and basic commodities are starting the inexorable march towards rampant inflation. When the US dollar loses value, as it is doing right now, those dollars buy less and less.

I am buying silver and gold, I am buying it now and into the future...it is real money, not some paper promise

The election results are in...

So there is a Canadian election in the offing. I used to be proud to vote, but I think as I get older the apathy sets in and I find it pointless. The Conservative option for me was the only choice, if only to cancel out just one whacked out Liberal/Socialist/Traitor block vote. I have no options now that the Federal Conservative Party has watered itself down to appeal to the Toronto-Montreal corridor vote. There is no Libertarian/Liasse Faire choice for me to make. You know...the kind of option that rewards hard work, keeps the government bureaucracy out of my pocket and lets me decide whether or not to support the useless, lazy and stupid in our society. Why should it be my responsibility to support your version of social activist agenda? I probably agree with very little that you, my hypothetical liberal-enviro-nazi-cradle-to-grave-hypocritical-diaper-wearing-parasite, reader believe in. (That is... if you are indeed one of those types)

Maybe I should keep my thoughts to myself, who knows what kind of laws could be enacted if an Iggy/Taliban Jack/Traitor coallition were to get in and run Parliment Hill. I will say that if that were to happen, I will be one of those calling for a free and separate Alberta...does that make me a traitor? I actually admire the Separatist faction in Quebec, the principle that is. I do, however, despise what it has turned into: A constant irritant in the side of Canada that uses its' position and threats to extort more and more from the rest of the country. Its big business now, they can't afford to separate, they are a joke yet the feds still kow-tow to them. And thats the difference....a separate Alberta can afford to go out on its own, it doesn't suck the Ottawa teat in the hope that transfer payments will be increased. Alberta IS the transfer payment.

I am too young to be outraged by what the Liberals under Trudeau did to the west, but I know what the result was. The NEP and the generational effect it had on those of us who grew up during that time. Old wounds are not forgotten, sometimes they fester just under the surface. I came of age in the 90's, it was Cretien then. The little thug who turned out to be probably the biggest lying despot this country has ever produced. I won't forget that brand of Liberalism...GST lie, 2 billion dollar Gun Registry , Adscam. HRT debacle, Public Works/Alphonse Degalliano, Shawinigate and the Grand Mere Golf Course Swindle that lined Cretien's slimy pockets...

Now Iggy and Taliban Jack want to "fix" whats wrong with Canada...Duceppe just wants money...that shrill enviro-nazi Elisabeth May (whose eyes loll around in her head like a cow going to slaughter) just wants a chance to shut down the economy for the good of everyone concerned...and Harper, well Harper just wants votes in Ontairio, fuck the rest of us and what he originally stood for.......Like I said...I have no choices now, the result has already been decided.

What if...

    I Have been thinking about something quite a bit lately. What do we do to ensure our security? Does a person rely on society behaving properly, do we trust our governments to make the right decisions?

    I read a friends observation posted to Facebook the other day. The jist of it was "1/3 receive government benefits, 1/3 work for the government, and 1/3 of us actually work and pay taxes to the government". That disturbed me because its true. The question I have is how long does it go on before that house of cards collapses? The US has a 14 trillion dollar debt, see it for yourself, just search for usdebtclock.org

Nobody really mentions that very much. Everyone is concerned about the deficit, the interest paid to service the debt. You know if I miss bill payments or renege on my obligations I am bankrupt. What happens to a country that goes bankrupt? Who holds the US debt? There are conspiracy theorists that claim central bankers and shadowy families hold it...I have a hard time believing that. There is, however, evidence that China and other growing economies hold a very large portion of it. What happens when they get tired of the "west" living high on the hog at their expense? They call the loan, shut off the tap, whatever you want to call it, it will be bad. Oh so you say: "That is not us, we are not the USA" If the elephantine neighbour to the south collapses on our mouse of a country...it is US.

    Well I have rambled on long enough, I don't want this to be some sort of economic diatribe on my part that shows how little I understand...The answer for me though is Hard Currency, something with value, that is mine, that irresponsible governments can't legislate or tax away when it suits them. I will hold it and it will have value.

    Time to get on with the plan.

Oh Wow...

...what a machine, I love it! The new quad is scary fast, 70mph and will catwalk with very little weight transfer. I have had other "utility" ATV's, but nothing like this one. I don't want to do anything too crazy before I get to know it better. This is one machine that I don't feel comfortable riding if I don't have a helmet on.

The last quad I owned was a 1998 Honda 450 Foreman that I sold to a friend 2 years ago. It was a great work quad and Honda is known for making dependable machines, but that one doesn't come close to this new one. I really can't believe the power and suspension travel, its like riding on a cloud and the front wheels are off the ground more often than not. I haven't even had an excuse to lock in the 4x4.

So I shot a little video on my GoPro Hero helmet cam...finally figuring that out too.

Small mind racing...

Well I finally stopped working...does that sound right? Time-off sounds better so lets go with that. I travelled home the other day. Sad to say the Ford had some teething problems, one day I hopped in it and when it started it sounded like the mice in the flywheel were having a sword fight...so the same old story...my ever loving bias against the dealer in Ft St John meant I was willing to drive out of my way 400 extra kilometers and get it fixed in Rocky Mtn House. I booked it in Thursday morning, but it turns out there are no starters to be had in all of Canada and I was looking at a 3 day wait for one to come out of the States. Luckily the service dept. manager found out and had one taken out of a truck in Edmonton and it was shipped down so I could leave on Friday. I heard they want me to pay for the freight...we'll see if that happens. I seem to remember when I signed the papers, a little service plan was included that cost me over $2000, says I don't pay for ANYthing up to 120,000km's.

I have a lot of thinking to do in the next while, it might be good to get away from everything for a bit and do it somewhere else. A person close to me has offered a new job opportunity, but I am really conflicted over whether or not to take him up on it....It is a really great offer, not quite what I am doing now, but close. I think I am warped though, one of my unbendable requirements is that I get to stay around heavy equipment daily...god I am simple.

Oh and I bought the quad! Yeah! Have not ridden it more than 50 yards yet, but it was great, can't wait to ride it some more. The nice thing about the whole deal is zero payments...yep its ALL mine, got a cashiers' cheque and paid for it all. I didn't bring it north with me, it is snug in a garage in Edson. I did get it registered and insured. My broker asked me if I wanted collision..."Why would I need collision?" I asked her. Well she says: "If it falls out of your pickup thats collision"....hmmm, good point, I should get the collision coverage too.

Never Endings

So it is February 7 2011...halfway into another job. I know one day soon I will be looking back to this post and wondering when the next job will start, but right now I am wondering when this will end. Unlike my old friends and some relatives I don't do long stretches well. 25 days to a month is all I can do of bush work without any breaks. Time off is normal for anyone and I'm not in this to set any records...I haven't been home since Dec 27 2010, what's that? 42 odd days or something and before that was almost 3 straight months since September. Who knows? Math is not my strong suit. I do know that my motel bill is well over $2000 right now. Oh the joys of being self employed.

I have been thinking it would be more logical to get an apartment in Edson Alberta where I am working at the moment. I just don't want to move in and then find I am working in a totally new area, then what do I have? No friends anywhere, a stranger alone in a strange town. I think my original plan of moving back to Rotten Monkey House is much better, at least then I have a few good friends in the area. I have been trying to make the best of bad situation with the move last year back to Ft St John BC, but more and more I realize that I absolutely hate that place with a passion and its better for everyone involved that I limit my time there to one visit a year. We should have some sort of fondness for the place we were born and raised, I don't. In my head it could be any number of things, from the Provincial politics (which is communist and it turns out my accountant from Alberta agrees), to the people in general that I don't want anything to with ever again. The only ones I respect anymore are my parents, brother and sisters and a few that I work with at a contractor I know. Other than that...well I could go on but I won't. Let sleeping dogs lie...and I really do mean dogs.

Anyway back to the job thing: 42 days with another week to go and its very possible that I could stay working in the Republic of Alberta right through and beyond break-up which is fast approaching...then clean-up season starts and I still have to stay one lease ahead of this rig and its going to be here until next fall. Never Ending...

Work Ethic

Imagine you were working in the Alberta oil patch, you have a job less than 15mins from a small city. You get $140 a day to find a motel room and feed yourself. If you are smart you get a buddy to share the room and pocket some easy money. You get to take a taxi to and from the job site, no cost to you. You work 12 hours a day and after 8 you get paid time and a half. Your only responsibility is to get out of bed, get into the taxi and do your job. Don't show up late and don't arrive at the job site with alcohol on your breath. There is room for advancement, here is the latest wage schedule that a Drilling rig worker gets per hour:

 Driller $40.20

Assistant Driller $35.00

Derrickhand $34.00

Motorhand $28.50

Floorhand $26.40

Leasehand $24.00

In less than 4 years you could be the guy at the top of the pile. And you can get this wage with little more than a high school diploma, sometimes not even that is required .Wouldn't you think that was a great opportunity, wouldn't you think you would do everything to protect your job, do it well...do it on a rig that has guaranteed work for the next year under the exact same circumstances that I just described?

Well apparently not. The drilling rig I am building all the sites for lately just had 3 guys walk off their shift because one shit disturber couldn't wake up on time and showed up drunk more than once. These guys have an attitude and very poor work ethic...it will be a good one to reflect on when they are flipping burgers at McDonald's real soon.

Better things,

So this is that global warming...oops I mean "Climate Change"...(have to get my politically correct euphemisims in order)...that everyone including one Dr "insert foreign model two-wheeled mode of transportation" has been ranting about? Strange, seems like winter to me. Wasn't it just a few years ago that 'El Nino was everything the future had in store for us....I don't know, sure looks like winter and we have been getting a lot of it lately

Can't remember...

It’s 2010, 2 years from the last time, I remember the call. 

I answered and we talked.

Trivial stuff, that burnt down the time,

 before the real subject was reached.

But that never really happened, did it?

The call ended with obligatory words of affection.
Never heard your voice again. 

Tell me I don't think of you, every single day, and I would call you a liar.

I am older and more cynical now, my trust is gone.

I wish you had spared me,

in the beginning.

All that time... lost now.

Used and abused in a special sort of way.

No anger, but you knew.

2011 Edit

another year passed and I wish you could read this. 

Maybe I wrote it with a vague idea that you might one day.

It will tell you that I hurt, but I will be fine.

2012 Edit

4 years on and
You are still haunting the back recesses.
of my mind.
I wonder why you said the words
That made me hope.
 Cowards way out said so much that wasn't,
But I was just as guilty. I should have...

You burned me out, but I forgive.
There is no reason to remember the good times,
 Few and far between weren't they?
I was left empty and alone

2018 Edit

Its been a long time,

10 years hey?

Do you ever wonder? 

I like to think, hope, that

 maybe you've found this blog somehow

Maybe you read a few stories, 

maybe it put your mind at ease

If it was troubled, I don't know.

I probably stopped writing here because

 the past is just the past

 and I...

Don't owe it or anyone, including you, anything.

The people I love are here and doors need to be shut,

Some things are better left behind. 

2023 Edit

Maybe I made it so that you would be able to read this. I haven't decided whether I will or not.

 Just know that if I did direct you here Its not to hurt. or to hate, It's Just a return to sender, 

Life is good.

~ Alana 

ummm...ya okay...so that worked out great

Been on the job since December 27, this has been a busy run so far. I don't know if I have another week or another month to go, but surprisingly I'll just keep going as long as it lasts, that's the mindset I am in at the moment. I don't care.

I had to re-new some safety tickets last week, I don't know if I am stupid or just honest, but I didn't charge my time out even though I still came out in the morning and again after the course was over in the afternoon. Still did the paperwork at night and was still responsible for everything. I just feel that if its not a full days work that its wrong to charge for it. So ya I guess I'm stupid...3 days lost to courses. I had to take Standard First Aid Level A with CPR and on the 3rd day I had to take H2S Alive, all good courses and mandatory if you work in the oil and gas industry. My next ticket to expire is Ground Disturbance Level 2 but that's not until October of this year.

The Youtube channel and the blog has been getting a little bigger, I signed up for Adsense last summer and Youtube has offered to revenue share 4 videos so far. I made my first $114 cheque back on December 17 and since then have accrued another $70, not bad for a month and like they say its better than a kick in the teeth. Adsense pays out once $100 is reached or monthly if its more than that. I have been tracking it and it seems like for me anyway that a potential $1.50-4.00  a day is possible right now. Its not much and some of the big partners are able to quit their day jobs. Well almost, where would the content come from if it wasn't for work?

I am still feeling a bit lost, like I mentioned in the previous post this job is not enjoyable right now, I hate the water hole aspect of things. The timing and the process is stressful and aggravating. It all combines and overlaps into every other part of the job. I really don't know if the input equals the output... on my life that is. Financially this is the best its ever been. I know this is the way out...hopefully its worth it.

Go big or go home...

I hate water, I hate holes, I hate water-holes.

I can't believe the trouble and intracacies that such a simple thing like a water pit can create. They have to hold water...simple...no? It has to be clean water, so throw a liner in it...oh there are different thicknesses, there are different textures to the liners? And that hole you are digging is frigging huge...estimate the price, but the volumes change and every pit is a one-off  custom deal. Make sure the pit doesn't fail, make sure there is no ground water coming up from the bottom, and if it leaks you are in big trouble because you supervised the installation...something goes wrong, do you think the installer can be reached or even return your call after the fact...think they would show the slightest bit of interest in your dilema? Probably not...you are on your own...don't you wish you had a simple job that paid well and there was no responsibilty or phone calls at the end of the day? Are you even able to put it out of your mind? Or does it hang on the edge of your being until the year is up and you finally get reclaim and bury the damn thing forever. Only 10 more holes to go...give or take.

Days end, years end

Its the 31st of December and I guess this year only has a few more hours to go.

We have decided to work this new year weekend. The Foreman says most of his guys are from BC anyway and they won't have much to do so they want to work it. makes no difference to me I hadn't planned on doing much myself.

Crazy, my online friend is in the hospital at Edmonton having her first baby, I wish the best for her and I am glad her mother told me. I was worried I would not be able to send anything on the stat holiday, but this worked out well. I sent her an Edible Arrangements bouquet that is made up of a whole lot of fun shaped fruit made to look like flowers all stuffed into a little pink elephant glass piggybank keepsake. I got something similar (not the elephant though) when I was ill this summer, sadly mine was huge and I couldn't eat it fast enough...but the thought was nice.

I have some plans for a major purchase in the next month or so and I am hoping to get a good deal. Feel the time is right to get a new ATV. I am stuck between what I really want and what I actually need. The Can-Am 800 Renegade is what I want, but the price is obnoxious at $13,000...its big and fast, but for my line of work its overkill. The Yamaha Grizzly 700 seems more reasonable to me and I might be able to buy a past model year that is still brand new for less money. I used to be a diehard Honda fan because they are bulletproof and last forever but I am tired of the stiff buckboard style ride.

The worst part of December,

it's Christmas day and I'm trying to relax. Its been ok so far, just quiet time with my family. I think I may have spent too much.

On Thursday, while travelling through Grande Prairie on my way back to Ft St John, I stopped at Fountain Tire and broke down and bought a full set of winter tires. Like them a lot. Feels like I have the 4x4 locked in when I don't. Never had proper winter tires before, but I have been worried about all the driving I have to do and figured it was time to do things right.

My Christmas shopping was easy, maybe I punked out, but it was mostly all gift cards this year. I feel bad about that, but it was all I could do; people in my way walking the aisles, drivers who for whatever reason can't comprehend what a 4 way stop means, ignorance in the parking lots....it all just gets on my nerves and I want to be alone.

Saw a few old friends again so that was nice, I wish I felt more sociable, but its not me right now. Just want to get back to work and I will...on the 27th.

The beat goes on

...and on and on. I told my boss the other day that I would work until the 24th and come back as soon as he wanted. He said I should make sure to get some quality time off. I really don't care that much about the holidays anymore, getting so jaded with everything in general...

Its been a hard few months...  In my mind I've given up on a few things some would say are essential but day by day I accept more and more that it's just the way it has to be. Its been a 20 year run to get to this point...what is the prize? Still looking.

I'm at Edson Alberta for work again, Ask me if I am stressed...nope.

...the thought that has been going through my head:
"Ready to go? Yeah, ...I'm ready" :-{

I've been called worse...

"YOU F*CKER!" Was what my friend Jay said to me this afternoon. "Hehe!" Was all I said back,

I have been working down by Lethbridge for the last week. It was another one of those ambiguous job starts, not really knowing when the location had to be done by, but knowing from past experience that it is always prudent to err on the side of "Get the damn thing built A.S.A.P.!"

So hard to find a contractor in the extreme south of Alberta that even knows how to build a lease anymore. The industry had for the most part gone to minimal disturbance drilling. A whole lot of accumulated knowledge has been lost. I wonder if the industry realizes this? I called a handfull of contractors I found online or in the yellow pages, the answer was always the same: "Nope, can't help you, haven't built one in 15 years and only have a few old-timers on the payroll that even know how anymore".   I have to admit I was hoping for a bit more interest, but can I really blame them? With the stroke of a pen government regulators and industry decided minimal disturbance was best. The unintended outcome was many companies left the field and pursued other earthmoving activity or went out of business entirely.

Well what do you know? An oil company decides to drill with oil based mud down here and we are left with the only option of actually protecting the soils and surrounding land, by building a real honest to god lease. And that brings me back to Jay.

I met Jay when he worked for me up north around Rocky Mtn House a good 10-12 years back. Sometime ago he left that part of the country and took a real cowboy job on the Birdseye Ranch which abutts Waterton National Park. I found him again about 3 years ago when we drilled a few wells on the ranch. He knows what he is doing and the ranch had some equipment so he built the sites for me. Anyway on this latest job near Lethbridge I got Jay back yet again.

In my own defense we started construction on Saturday and I didn't know for sure until Monday that the rig wasn't coming till Thursday...the only problem was I told Jay when we started that it was coming on Wednesday. You know I hate deadlines, but for once it was nice to make someone else think the heat was on, and they work so quick, but I get called a fucker! Oh well, I can take it, and now Jay has the whole day  to himself tomorrow to make everything look pretty with no pesky rig move happening around him. Its good to be the boss sometimes...

 ROFLMAO!

It scares me...kill it with fire.

Darn... woke up this morning at 2:42am and been up ever since. I had a dream, don't normally remember them and this one is fading already. What to mention on a blog that is read by others, not much, but suffice to say it had to do with a girl 2 years in the past...when does it end?

Hey the title of this post was just a funny line I heard on the radio this morning (say it with a southern accent), by no means should it be morphed into having anything to do with the statement above.

I have been working out of Whitecourt Alberta lately. Its unchallenging work ..."take this dirt, haul it over there". Kinda boring and its been too cold to walk around comfortably, but I know I should have anyway. Watched a news report on diabetes and the ever increasing waistline of North Americans...turns out the best way to keep the pounds off is to eat raw vegetables, apparently they take work to digest and keeps you feeling full longer. I can attest to that, been losing a lot of weight the last the last couple of months, the rabbit food works.

Got a little bad news on the job front. Plastic liner trouble in Edson, some failures delayed a frac and the new one we finished a week ago may not be holding water. These friggin liners will be the death of me yet! We are probably going to a different supplier and installer for the next ones or change the approach entirely.

Got some advice from crazy the other day, I love it, she keeps me sane sometimes, she seemed to get really upset when I told her I changed some ``personal`` paperwork...I know, I know is all I could reply, but its the way I feel...I wonder if the dream was brought on by that exchange.

Got the GoPro cam, here is the first video:

Goodbye Jimmy

Jimmy Musil
July 2, 1970 – October 28, 2010

Last month I lost a friend. I met Jim when I was an equipment operator in BC during the mid 90's. My fondest memories of him are from the job where these pictures were taken. We were working "behind" Pink Mountain at Mile 143 of the Alaska Highway, not many can say that.


 It was such an adventure, the term "bowler" will forever have a new definition known only to me and him, one of those private jokes that cement friendships and make them last a lifetime... come what may.

Rest now Jim,
the mountains will always be there,
and the marks we made,
will show them you were here.

Thanks to rancholosmalulos for showing me how to properly embed the videos from youtube...this is probably the coolest thing about the rigs (in my opinion) rig move day is always exciting.

Back to some sort of normal

Some may have noticed that I took a break from all this online stuff, most probably did not. Afterall this is just my thing to vent and I like it that way...although everyone is welcome to read.

Been busy and actually had the best month I have ever had in this business, but you know it still seems like a fine line that I have to tread and that gets tedious. I'm just finishing a liner install job in Edson Alberta. I absolutely hate the can't do's of this world...I am going to keep the contractor anonymous, but have to say that rarely have I been in the presence of a company mentality that can figure out so many ways in which to do so little. This friggin liner has been a nightmare from hell and guess who gets the brunt of it when nothing gets done and money is still being spent?

Took a good hard fall the other morning coming out of the motel at 5:00am. I swear it looked like damp parking lot...it wasn't. Out the feet went and BAM!! Right on my back, computer case landed 10ft away and skittered across the pavement. I tucked my head in so that didn't crack, but my elbow and shoulder blades took a real shit-kickin...just started to notice my left thumb is sore and have no idea how that happened. Here is my shameless plug of the day: That laptop that went across the pavement? Well it was snug as a bug inside a Pelican protective briefcase, I highly recommend that if you have a laptop that you get one. Another one of the best purchases I ever made.

Speaking of new purchases, I have become entralled with a new camera and I am thinking very seriously of ordering it online as soon as I finish this blog entry. It is a High-Def, wearable and fully water proof cam called the Go-Pro Hero. From what I have heard and seen on youtube it is truly amazing, the possibilities for me are seemingly endless. I am getting tired of my low def, un-high tech cam that cost so much just a year and a half ago. For less money I can get the Go-Pro, have 1080p, 170 degree field of view and mount it anywhere. That is awesome to me.

Wasting time

Can't say the job has been going great...some of those feelings from last year of just packing it up and doing what I like have come back. Its very nice to have that option. I guess we will see what happens, but I have that old conflict where I see the work ahead and the money to be had and I bite my tongue once again. It will be busy and I am ready for it as far as my health goes, scars are doing good and all that.....just checked my email and have another 5 sites to spot so the total to build this fall/winter sits at 8 and believe me that is a busy build program with more to come...lots of companies promise big programs but they always seem to fall short.

I was disappointed when I started smoking after the hospital stay, but I got on a Champix perscription and it seems to be really kicking in, the need isn't there anymore, but the habit and needing my hands be busy remains. I don't find it enjoyable anymore, I try not to think of it in numbers but I am down a lot and would say its around half a pack or less a day. Some of the stress from work in last month really kicked my ass and I will need to work on that...smoking is not the answer. One good thing is that I won't be turning to food, the diabetes prevents that...no sugar and constantly watching the labels has me eating much better. It is hard, never realized how much crap I used to eat because it was easy and convenient.

Its nice to not worry about money so much, I knew this would be the outcome, but I still miss her every now and then, wonder how things have turned out for her...but it was a messed up situation and I was to blame because I enabled it for so long. It will be 2 years in December. Maybe another year and my future is wide open...

Not for those with a weak stomach....

Well its not that bad...its officially been a month since they cut me. I took my own dressing off at home because it came off almost by itself in the shower. This time I actually looked and have to say I got a little dizzy and almost puked. It was a shock to say the least, I felt really let down, up to now I was relying on what I heard from the nurses said and it always seemed more and more positive everyday. I guess they see this stuff a lot more than I do. .I just didn't realize how big the site was and how much they took from me. Its not a deformity or anything drastic like that, and the nurses assure me that it will even out and flatten down eventually and be almost scar free. I am talking about the wound on the inside of my leg, I just realized that imaginations could run wild if I didn't clarify that.

I have been driving to Grande Prairie every 2 days and I know I have mentioned something similar before but I have to say it again: There are so many friggin retards in BC and they all seem to drive in front of me. Or beside me, cutting me off in the passing lanes when I am already going 10kmph over....Mini-vans seem to be the worst and I have no idea why. I had one stupid bitch pull slowly past me right when the lane ended then look at me like I'm the idiot. I'll tell you I have never used the middle finger more in my life. WTF!? I'm not going to get mad if someone can at least do the speed limit when conditions are good, but I watch them text, talk animately with  passengers, wander in and out of their lane and drive for miles with a tail of traffic 500m long that can't pass because...well just because BC and its drivers and its road system suck. JUST GET OFF THE F***IN ROAD ALREADY! Ohhh and one more thing....the road construction at Tomslake. What a brainwave, they put in wider pullouts for exiting traffic, but those pull outs are now 250m of solid yellow where no passing is allowed. Multiply that by 4 pullouts and thats another kilometer of road where no passing is allowed. With all the traffic its now getting so dangerous with long lines of nose to tail traffic that in my personal opinion there will be even more deaths because of impatient drivers passing when they get fed up.

an odd thing happened.....

On the way to work on Monday afternoon I was just about to Valleyview going east when... BANG! My drivers side window on the pickup blew in and covered me in glass. Surprised is a word I didn't use. I stopped on the side of the highway and tried to figure things out. I was so close to Valleyview that I thought just for the heck of it I would make out a police report. I thought maybe someone was shooting at cars with a pellet gun, but I wasn't sure. I talked with my friend Dave the other day and he said in their company alone its happened 3 times. When the glass is dirty and mud hardens on the window sometimes it gets scored when the window goes up and down, all it takes is the pressure differential when a semi goes by to make it shatter. Makes sense to me, but I could have sworn that the semi had not gone by me when it broke....

So I went to work on Tuesday to survey those wells, it was good to get back. I went back to Grande Prairie on Wednesday to get the wound vac dressing changed then  drove all the way back to Edson to complete the surveying....and then, you probably guessed....Drove back to GP on friday to get the wornd vac changed again.

Funny thing about the Wound Vac. On Friday I decided to do it sans the drugs, big mistake. It seems the nurses decided that one place was healed a bit too much and had created a fold. They then decided it would be a great idea to burn it down with silver nitrate under the dressing....Sensitive area on the body and I could feel that ...and feel it ...and feel it some more like the dial on a stove being turned up, its a friggin day later and I can still feel it. Next time the drugs are going down BEFORE the change.

Anonymous rambling

Been getting out more and more...it feels good. I feel like I am shaking that feeling that I think we all get when we are not ourselves, for whatever reason. For me of course it was the sickness of last month. I keep thinking back to the first night in recovery and the poor guy next to me that was looking at 6 months in there and I only had to do half the month (and a bit of annoying out-patient work)...that kid was broken up and it was a bad scene.

On to other topics: I have to laugh, online life is a hoot sometimes...1+1 doesn't always make 2...the paintbrush  only hides so much. Positivity is good only if its true and you can back it up. This will only make sense to me and a really good youtube friend, but hey a laugh is a laugh and I'll take all I can get. Thanks for everything Janet.

Had a good talk with an old friend. Ken ain't computer savy and will never read this, but all the same it was good and he really seems to get the best out me. I was surprised that he wasn't surprised. It seems the oilfield really is such a small world, I will always be glad for the friends I have there...might be time to realize I don't live in a bubble and all the friends I need are already there.

Been thinking a lot about futures, me in particular, house design to be specific...Underground, south facing, ranch bungalow from the front view, mini-donkeys eating grass off the roof from the back view. That of course brings me to work and making it all happen. Wouldn't that be cool? 

Made the call, to the surveyors, and it seems I will be back at things on Tuesday after Labour Day. Three more wellsites to plot and that will eat up a good portion of my winter, woohoo! I like//love to be busy, now more than ever. I think I am way past drag-assing and complaining about work for a long while to come.

I feel like I am on a mission, the goal is very clear and socializing will take a distant backseat to everything else I do. LOL! I'll be like a robot...in addition to making the money and lots of it, I am going to be very selfish, if that can be a good word in this context. My goals and dreams come first, I don't need to explain myself to anyone...its very liberating. For too long I have been willing to give up what I want for others and their wacked out thoughts/personalities.

I have such a big advantage over others...I remember a talk some teacher I had said once: "You need to do (this and that), because the world is so competitive now" How untrue, take 10 classmates, 3 will be born losers and never rise above gas jockey and welfare, another 2 won't make it past 30 because the road was icy, 2 more will loose their minds and be chemically dependent  for the rest of their lives because a Dr told them they have problems instead of looking after themselves. That leaves just 3 people to compete for success. Well I know the other 2 and they have pursuits and careers so foreign to me it doesn't matter anymore. Hey I'm a realist, the oil biz and guys like me probably only have another 25 years, but I'll make mine in the meantime

Good day

Well its a good day. Happy to be out and about and very thankfull for my health which seems to be taking a turn for the better...I like being optomistic its so much better than dwelling on things that can only drag me down, things that I can't control.
We only live one life...Better to live for the good parts, I can't be bothered to sink into depression about very much (except the hospital stay, that sucked)...and for that I am glad.
So I am still doing the out-patient thing, need to get the wound vac changed every 2 days, just need to commute down to Grande Prairie for it...the home care nurses were very understanding and have done so much to accomodate me. For a service that I knew very little about it has been a godsend.
Feeling pretty upbeat, parts of my life have been topsy-turvey lately, but thats all done and my life seems to be going in a direction that I like. Can't wait to get back to work and make it all happen.

Saw some of my best friends on the trip up...funny how an illness makes time that I thought I didn't have.

ohh...and the lesson for the day is: Pride...always mean what you say and stick to it, I live by it...some would have had questions or begged...I don't, when its done its done.