The following is a work of fiction 😉
I Know What Happened.
Its been 15 Years, Wow. But now I know.
There’s this date, 15 years ago, Dec 23 2008, maybe you know it too, although, with what I finally figured out, maybe it never mattered to you at all. For a long time that date was everything to me.
I know what you did.
The bio on your company website,
2005?
TWO-THOUSAND-AND-FIVE??
Part owner? Owner? What? WTF! In 2005, That's kind of a problem. I guess that information wasn’t important enough to mention to me.
Ownership indicates buy-in and investment. With who's money?
Maybe you remember the constant drain on my bank accounts, I was doing it for you out of what I thought was love, but you? Help me understand. So the $8,000 mortgage down payment for your mother was? What happened? Did the "Partner" need quick money to fund the business? Or maybe the newest snake-oil gadget dropped so let's call up the mark and give him a sob story? And the monthly deposits I made for years were for? Startup-overhead-inventory? What?
You know exactly what you did to me. I was so deep in debt; it took years to dig myself out. I was collecting spare change to get to work, I was sleeping in my vehicle to save money. Eating out of gas stations. Borrowing from friends. Stressed the next call would be from the CRA to garnish or even seize my accounts. My father had a stoke back then and I didn't have the money to travel up and see him. I was too ashamed to ask anyone for more help.
The worry that I heard in your voice, fall of 2008, when I told you I had to concentrate on debt and wouldn't be able to fund you and your lifestyle {and apparently your "Company"} It wasn't worry for me, no, it turns out you were worried that the free money was coming to an end. Did you know that on Dec 23 2008 I gave you the last money I had that month? I put you ahead of my family, at Christmas, I wanted to surprise you, make your holiday better, but it would seem all I did was cover some "company" expenses?
But hey, it's all fine, I got really good at making deals with creditors, talking my way out of trouble. You gave up too soon. You could have wrung a few more years out of me, kept me hanging on, waiting.
The only thing I believe anymore is that maybe you did feel a little bad for me and that's why it stopped. Maybe there was a spark of something good in you that finally kicked in and ended my suffering. After Dec 23 2008 sadness turned to relief that you never called again. If you ever wondered the answer is 2 weeks. After 2 weeks I never once considered contacting you ever again.
But Holy F*ck! You actually did those things to me and I finally get it. While I'm not the fastest on the uptake, have to admit this made me laugh. My friends, my family, were right, I should have got away from you in the 90's when they told me to. I guess you’ll just have to believe me when I say that every single friend and family member that knew told me to shut you out. But I would always tell them they didn’t understand, this is different. But…
Such is the fool, I must have deserved it. You and JC probably had a good laugh. I’ll never know for sure, but was it for the entire time since 1996? The confidence scam I mean? Or did it just slowly happen over time?
Read through this blog, or don’t, it doesn’t matter. But this is you. This is what happened to me...After you.
No worries, I’m not mad, I never was. I just wanted you to know that things turned out better than I ever thought possible and your part in any of my success is only as a hard earned lesson. I did good, do very well and found happiness despite wasting so many years of my life.
From: Me
To: Alana
